The letter follows: 
My Dear Sirs: 

In reply to your request to sent  a check, I wish to inform you that the present condition of my bank account makes it almost impossible. My shattered financial condition is due to federal laws, liquor laws, county laws, city laws, corporation laws, state laws, mothers-in-law, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, and outlaws. 

Through these laws, I am compelled to pay a business tax, head tax, school tax, food tax, carpet tax, furniture tax, gas tax, light tax, sales tax, liquor tax, income tax, and excise tax. Even my brains are taxed. I am required to get a business license, car license, hunting and fishing license, truck license; not to mention a marriage license and dog license. 

I am also required to contribute to every society and organization which the genius of man is capable of bringing to life: to women's relief, the unemployed relief, and the gold digger's relief. Also to every hospital and charitable institution in the city, including the Red Cross, the black cross, the purple cross, and the double cross. 

For my own safety, I am required to carry life insurance, property insurance, liability insurance, burglar insurance, accident insurance, business insurance, earthquake insurance, tornado insurance, unemployment insurance; old age and fire insurance. 

My business is so governed that it is no easy matter for me to find out who owns it. I am inspected, expected, suspected, disrespected, rejected, dejected, examined, re-examined, informed, required, summoned, fined, commanded, and compelled, until I provide an inexhaustible supply of  money for every known need of the human race.

Simply, because I refuse to donate to something or other, I am boycotted, talked about, lied about, held up; held down and robbed, until I am almost ruined. 

I can tell you honestly that, except for the miracle that happened, I could not enclose this check. The wolf that comes to my door nowadays just had pups in my kitchen. I sold them and here is the  money.